Talking about Teaching:
Or, discussing the unquantifiable
"Oh, You're a Teacher!?"Anytime I meet someone new, whether a friend of my fiancee or a friend of a friend, it inevitably happens.
Someone always asks a deceptively vicious little question, and I never answer the question how I wish to. What made you want to become a teacher? Normally, my brain kicks into overdrive, and a pandemonium of responses and emotions builds in my head. I always respond this way, no matter who asks about teaching, no matter where. Of course, I know my answer. It’s not particularly complex. I became a teacher because I am a child of Mississippi, a land that I love. A land that shaped me into who I am, with its joy and art, its grittiness and drive--and its deep, deep problems. I became a teacher to answer the call of the Mighty Mississippi--to serve this land I love by loving and fighting alongside the underdogs of the underdog state. To make Mississippi the best it can be by serving its native sons and daughters. Sharing that little diatribe, unto itself, would be difficult. The above stream is hyperbolic, sure, but it’s what wells up in my heart and mind when I think about why I teach. No one has time to listen to all that at a party or a restaurant or in a lobby. Right? More succinctly, I tend to explain that I love Mississippi and want to make it a better place. So I teach. My parents were teachers, so it’s in my blood. It always seemed like the best way to serve the state! But now, after teaching for over a year, it gets harder and harder to talk about teaching, to explain to people what I do each day or why I do it. The flood of memories and emotions is just too great--particularly at a time of the year like this. Here are some potential, honest responses to these questions: Well, I work for the kids who have been given an unfair disadvantage in life. Well, I try to teach kids to do well on a critical-thinking and reading based test. Oh yeah, these kids have struggled to read for their entire school careers. And it’s not their fault. Well, I teach kids who don’t do well in school because the stress of their lives outside of school bleeds into the front doors each day. Well, I use every ounce of my personality and energy to keep these kids engaged and learning every day. And explaining how these kids have impacted me is somewhere near impossible. And in small talk--completely inconceivable. The reasons why I teach now, as compared to when I just started, have grown immensely: Well, I teach because no one is going to help these kids get where they want to be. Someone’s got to. Well, I teach because someone has to take some step to right the wrongs of the past. Well, I teach because my heart breaks when I look at these kids every day. Well, I teach because my heart breaks when I think of teaching anywhere else. Well, I teach because these kids deserve the world, and I believe education is the way to help get them there. Well, I teach because these kids have got to make it in the real world. The root problem is--there’s just too much beauty in it. There’s too much joy, even in the painful moments, of what happens when teachers and students are doing their jobs in the classroom together. If I’m being honest, watching my classroom function smoothly is like hearing the parts of an orchestra play in perfect synchronicity. If I’m being especially honest, I know that I have far too much emotional investment in teaching. ----- I’ve learned a lot from people asking me about two topics: teaching and my fiancee. I could talk about them both, passionately and lovingly, for hours. But I abbreviate my ideas and stem the tide of emotions. I give a shortened version. ----- Maybe one day I’ll work up the courage to tell folks how I really feel about teaching. |